What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why can't the ISS take a picture of Earth and prove to the Flat Earth Society that Earth is not really flat?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What! how could you do that?

Why do I randomly start sweating a lot in public (while waiting in line, in a new class, etc.) then start sweating more because I’m embarrassed that I’m sweating so much? Is this social anxiety?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Has your wife made you a cuckold?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

What do you think of Andrew Tate?

Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What are some tips for a girl with low self-esteem to start dating?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”